Eric Clapton - Layla

What will you do when you get lonely
And no one is waiting by your side?
You've been running and hiding much too long
You know it's just your foolish pride

Layla, you've got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging, darling please
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind?

I tried to give you consolidation
When your old man had let you down
Like a fool, I fell in love with you
You turned my whole world upside down

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love is in vain

Alanis Morissette - No Pressure Over Cappuccino

And you're like a 90's Jesus
And you revel in your psychosis
How dare you?
And you sample concepts like hors d'euvres
And you eat their questions for dessert
Is it just me, or is it hot in here?

And you're like a 90's Kennedy
And you're really like a million years old
You can't fool me
They'll throw opinions like rocks in riots
And they'll stumble around like hypocrites
Is it just me or is it dark in here?

Well you may never be or have a husband
You may never have or hold a child
You will learn to lose everything
We are temporary arrangements

And you're like of 90's Noah
And they laughed at you as you packed all of your things
And they wonder why you're frustrated
And they wonder why you're so angry
And is it just me or are you fed up?

Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami

Just read this novel. Even my bro gave it to me about two years ago. He got kind of voucher of bookstore in Taiwan, then he asked me if I want to buy a book or two. And I replied, "Haruki Murakami's book". I haven't read any of his book actually. But I don't know why, I feel related to his book, to the quotations from his books. Then here goes, Kafka on the Shore on my lap.

At first I tried to read, to be honest, I feel like the style of his writing is kinda tough. It's flowing, but the plot is twisted. The odd chapters are about Kafka Tamura, main character of this book. A fifteen-year-old boy who ran away from his house. Who wants to be the toughest 15 year old boy on earth. And the even chapters are about Tanaka. A man who can not read or write, but can talk with cats. So it's confusing for the first time.

But then I decided to read it again. I want to read a thought-provoking book, which has hurting yet soothing words for your heart and mind . And I know for sure, this book has it.

And, at the very first chapter, this book already depict fate. In metaphor of course.

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about"

I just read until chapter 20. And not even half of the mysteries here revealed. Still at the dark tunnel, still without a light, still can not see the end of this tunnel. But I guess, Haruki will keep the mystery remain a mystery. Because there are some things that need to be NOT revealed. And actually, I already peek at the last chapter, and it's not disappointing at all, there are still mysteries. I love it.

Hope I could be like Kafka, run away, to the land unknown, to the place unseen.

"I don't need to judge whether people are good or evil. Likewise I don't have to act according to standards of good and evil"

Aku ingin

Aku ingin
hidup hanya untuk hari ini
Layaknya bunga menikmati
hangatnya musim semi
Sejenak melupakan
akan datang
dinginnya musim gugur

Aku ingin
hidup hanya untuk saat ini
Layaknya dedaunan
yang menikmati
rintik hujan
Sesaat melupakan
tajam dan dingin percikannya

Aku ingin
hidup hanya untuk detik ini
terus menggempur
menerjang serta menerabas
sekilas terlena
melupakan sakitnya terjatuh
dan terhempas

laut dan langit

Laut biru

memancarkan warna

dari cerahnya sang langit siang

Laut jingga

memantulkan warna

dari semburat lembayung senja

Laut kelam

menyerap warna

dari gelapnya sang malam

Laut hanyalah air

yang tergenang

tanpa langit disisinya

Laut tak akan berwarna

tanpa sang langit

yang menaunginya

serenaded by Sinatra's songs

Fly me to the moon
let me play among the stars
let me see what spring is like
on Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby kiss me

Fill my heart with song
and let me sing for evermore
you are all I long for
all I worship and adore

In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

(Frank Sinatra, Fly Me to the Moon)

First of May.
Oh damn
It's May already?

Why February can not last forever? I love this February, a lot. Love it so much more than I love last November. What was happening on last November? Temper Trap concert. The concert was so darn sweet. And after that, I went to Amadeus at FX. I love Amadeus. I love the menu, I love the place, I (kinda) like the music played there, and I love the moment. And they played this song, Fly Me to the Moon by Sinatra. Damn. Made my night perfect.

And what was happening on February? Sweetness. Many sweet things happened on February. And one of them happened at Amadeus too. Serenaded by the song of Louis Armstrong, A Kiss to Build a Dream On. I really love this place. Many good and sad things happened at this place.

May, please be sweet and easy on me. But at least I know one of my best friend canceled her plan to move to Aussie this May. God, it's a sweet relief. When she said she will be going, I know I had teary eyes. Look at her and said "Yah Mira, I need you to be by my side, at least three more months".
Then she replied "Maybe you should find another friend you can talk to"

Yeah right, like hell I will have a friend like her. That time I hate her husband who asked her to move to Aussie. But last week she said she will stay until the next three months. And I'm so glad. How glad? So damn glad. I know I can through this with her. Oh crap, do I sound like a lesbian now? But truth written, I need her, a lot.

So May, please be nice, sweet and easy on me.

Once I get you up there, where the air is rarefied
We'll just glide, starry-eyed
Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so very near
You may hear angels cheer, 'cause we're together
(Frank Sinatra, Come Fly With Me)

Fly with you?
Definitely and absolutely I will...