Silly Parent's Expectation

It was less than two years since I became a mother. My lack of experience (well, duh) and lack of knowledge always make me question and regret anything I've done to my one and only, my precious one, Bumi. Despite of all my mistakes and careless decisions toward him, he still loves me wholeheartedly. It makes me think I don't deserve him, he's just too good to be true.

He makes me realize that have full tummy, could sleep under the roof, had a nice (not fancy, but quite nice one) clothes actually are privileges. Selama ini gua mikir yang namanya gak kelaperan, bisa tidur nyenyak, bisa mandi kapan pun itu ya hak semua makhluk hidup. Soon after I gave birth to him, I realize I was entirely wrong. Having him is such an enlightening moment.

Sampai Bumi hampir dua taun ini, gua gak terlalu berharap macem2 sama dia. Selama dia sehat, kenyang, tidur nyenyak, baju cukup, ceria dan bahagia, everything is alright. He is witty, and I really hope he will grow up as a witty and lovely boy, and then soon enough, will be a very nice man. Makanya suka bingung sama orangtua yang kayanya terobsesi banget punya anak pintar...buat dipamerin atau dibanggain. Anak hafal satu surat quran, posting di path, facebook, twitter, snapchat, instagram, kalo masih ada, mungkin friendster juga.

No, I'm not against people who like to post their children's photos at social media, but sometimes it was like parents have no limit.

Sometimes they have a silly expectation to their child(ren). Pengen anak suka baca (lha emak bapaknya gak pernah atau jarang baca, terus anaknya mau nyontoh dari siapa suka bacanya). Dulu ada rekan kerja yang nanya ke gua "Gimana ya Ras, biar anakku suka baca kaya kamu?". Terus gua bilang ya dulu bokap gua setiap minggu ngajak gua ke gramed buat beli buku and any book will do. Boleh beli komik, tapii harus tetep ada buku "pelajaran"nya. Jadi ya biasanya setiap minggu itu gua beli komik2, ditambah LKS hits jaman dulu yang namanya kunti (tekun dan teliti), dan arif, kadang ditambah buku biografi tokoh2 yang tipis.

Terus si rekan kerja ini bilang lagi "aku udah bawa ke gramed, tapi ya dia gak tertarik, baca komik aja gak mau,". Terus gua bilanglah "mbak suka baca buku gak? Atau suaminya?", dan sesuai dugaan dia bilang "nggak,". Lha pegimane? Anak kan peniru ulung. Kalo orangtua pada gak doyan baca, mau niru siapa? Atau anak dikasih gedget mulu, terus gimana dia bisa mau baca.

Alhamdulillah (semoga gua ngejanya bener nih), Bumi lumayan tertarik sama buku. Dari dia belom bisa tengkurep udah gua bacain buku. Dan dia sering liat gua baca buku (walau cuma komik dan harry potter), tapi tetep yang penting dese doyan baca jadinya. Sering minta bacain. Tapi terus bapaknya malah males bacain, dan malah ngasih gadget (bikin wa kzl beut).

Gua gak bilang gadget itu haram, tapi yah jamgan banyak2lah ngasih gadget ke anak. Gua batesin gadget buat Bumi cuma 2 jam sehari, dan nonton TV satu jam sekali. Contrary to popular opinion, gua gak terlalu memikirkan dampak psikologis anak kaya jadi lambat bicara dsb, gua lebih ngeri sama kesehatan mata dia. Takut matanya rusak. Udah itu doang. Makanya pas dia pegang ipad, brightness gua setel di paling rendah, dan lampu nyala terang benderang. I find there's some positive effects juga koq ngasih gadget ke anak, such as: di umur dua taun dia udah bisa ngitung sampe sepuluh (it may be common for toddlers these days, tapi gua yakin pas gua umur 2 taun gua belom bisa), tau semua warna (in english though, tapi ya kalo diomongin misalnya "ambilin mobil merah," ya dia ngerti juga), dan udah tau huruf (only a few).

Anyway, I know that having an obsession to have bright children is completely normal, but as parent who is much older and hopefully much wiser, please have some limitations. Apalagi buat anak di bawah umur grade schooler, just make sure they are healthy and happy and will grow up as a decent human being.


Btw, ini postingan kayanya ada di draft gua dari taun lalu. Tapi baru publish sekarang. Entahlah mengapa gak dari dulu aja. Mungkin karena udah jadi emak2 terus massa otak jadi berkurang seons.