Christmas is in the air...

December is always be my favourite months of the year. Because I love the ambiance and atmosphere of Christmas, well when he was beside me.

I love preparing Christmas gift and card for him. I loved it, totally loved it.

Searching the Christmas quote by googling, making a christmas card (even the card is totally f*cked up! It's a proof that I only creative in idea)

I love staying at his home for a couple of nights and spending the time with him and his family. Cherish all the moments, appreciate all the little miracles of Christmas.

And now when he was so damn far away from me, when he walked out of my life, when he left all the cross that I need to bear, I hate Christmas. Cause it reminds me of him, reminds me of the beautiful moment that I had with him, and I will never have such moment like that anymore.

Here we are as in olden days,
happy golden days of yours
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more

Through the years, we all will be together
If the faiths allow
Hang a shining star, the highest bar
And have yourself a merry little Christmas night
(Frank Sinatra, Have yourself a merry little Christmas)

Turn Back Time

If you could turn back time, what would you do? What would you change? Are you gonna change a thing in you, the idealize version of you?

Well if I were you, I won't change a thing. Because I believe that everything happened to me has formed me to be the way I am. And I love almost all the things in me. The independence, the sarcasm, the wittiness, the ignorance, the unique, the sense of humor and music, almost everything in me.

Okay, my past is such pain in the a**, but come on see the bright side, it made me tougher than mere girls I know. I had a trauma, something left a mark inside, but in the very young age, I already learn about through the problems, forgive things and people, and let them go, and let God deal with it...

We just know what we want, but we have no idea what's best for us, and none of us does. The only one who knows only God... So that's why when I could not reach something I want, I try to believe this is the best way, this is God's direction. Even I need to admit, when you could not reach something you really want, you start to be depressed, or maybe curse things around. But we're simply just a human. It's okay, it's alright... But don't sweat the small stuff, and do not ever lose the faith in God.

Dammit, I'm kind of giving a speech now. Well I mean no harm... I just want to speak up my mind after reading someone's status on facebook who complain about this and that... I really want to punch her in the face, give my best fist, my best shot...

"If I had a chance for another try, I wouldn't change a thing

It's made me all of who I am inside

If I could thank God, that I am here and I am alive

And everyday I wake, I tell myself a little harmless lie, the whole wide world is mine"

(Angels and Airwaves, Rite of Spring)

Daydream Believer

Hey Michael Kienzy...

I just read your blog, I mean, read it deeply. I never read your blog that deep before. But today, I read all the lines, each of phrase, nice one, mate...

Anyway...

Because of your blog, I just feel like be reminded about the dreams i want to reach, desperately. You remind me of how i wanna be the idealized version of me, the new me, the totally new me...

I hate being me lately. Everything fell out of place. Almost all of the aspect of my life. Financially, love life, friendship, career, anything... And I feel like I don't want to do something bout this, I'm so effortless to fix it. I want to do nothing. I just want to lay down on the grass, shined by the heat of the sun, watered by the rain, blend with the mother earth.

Vanish

Disappear into the air...

Dammit, I want the tough version of me, the daydream believer!

untitled

Even the rain is pouring down,
and clouds cover the sun shines behind
When the rain is watering mother earth,
gives kind of hope all around the world
Could you just hate the rain?

When the wind is blowing out,
freezing when you're outside on your own
Then the wind is breezing,
calming you to through the days
Could you just hate the wind?

When loving you is hurting
even worse, it's killing
and make me totally dying
Could I just hate you?
Just like I supposed to do?

When loving you is totally wrong,
holding you is absolutely a sin
kissing you is a thing I mustn't do
but resisting you is something I can't do
Could I just hate you?

L-O-V-E

Some said love is not only about the feeling, but also a state of mind. Others said love is a word that not only depict how we feel but also a word which has strong commitment on it.

Incubus said love is a verb. Yep it’s true. I can not agree more.

Anyway…

Many philosophers, lyric composers, or even a mere ordinary girl like me try to depict, describe love in right words, but the fact remains the same, we never could describe it in an appropriate way.

One thing that I’m surely know about love is, loving is hurting, loving is killing. Makes you totally blind, makes you losing your head, turns you into such a fool, but somehow when this feeling grows, it could be such a splendid things.

Makes you smile and can not stop smiling. Makes you see the world in different point of view, different way. It could change you to be someone that you never thought you will be. Makes you do something that you will never do.

But one thing that I want to ask to God is, why did God create love but limit it with a thing called religion. All the ways lead to the same God, we only have ONE God. God didn’t create many religions, but shitty things happened just like we knew from the history, now we have many religions.

Should Muslim hate Christians or vice versa?

Absolutely no!

So why Muslim mustn’t love Christian?

Only Heaven knows…

Imagine there’s no Heaven

It’s easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today

Imagine there’s no countries

It isn’t hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace

(John Lennon, Imagine)

Prologue

Okay, my name is Dyah Larasati Setyoningrum Ardjojoewono. I’m mere a simply girl on earth who loves writing. So this blog could be considered as my sanctuary in writing. Even I have the hidden one, but don’t know why I feel like I need to make the published one.

There are some thoughts, stories or maybe even some jokes that I want to share.

I chose bubbly-eyed which depict my eyes, myself as well. Because almost all of my friends said I have droopy and bubbly eyes. Well, I’m totally aware that this trivia is not necessary at all, but hey, it’s my blog anyway, fufufu…

So here we go, folks…

“I know everybody falls, but my balance is much worse than other folks”
(Shelley Green, My Balance)