Decision making

I'm pretty terrible at making good decision since I tend to make some awful decisions. And, I never really think about the potential risk, the consequences for any decision I make. Stupid? Well, you may think so, but actually I have different point of view. I believe God is the best script director, so I believe every step I make will take me to the right places at the right times. Well, that's what I thought.

But for almost 26 years of my life, I made many bad decisions. I wanna say I have no regret making one or two of them. That is the path that I need to walk on to be who I am right now. I wanna believe that God's favor is just like Gandalf, will never come late, nor is early. He arrives precisely when he means to. And I will find my own way.

But now, I face another crossroad. And I'm pretty terrified if I make another awful mistake. But sitting here, without doing anything won't ease anything. Just like Murakami wrote, closing my eyes wont change anything. Nothing's gonna disappear just because I cant see what's going on. In fact, things will even be worse the next time I open my eyes. That's the kind of world we live in. Keep your eyes open since only a coward closes his eyes. Closing my eyes and plugging up my ears won't make time stand still.

 No regrets they don't work
No regrets they only hurt

(Robbie Williams, No Regrets) 

I turn my head to the East
I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the West
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the North
Swallow that pill that they call pride
That old me is dead and gone
But that new me will be alright

(T. I., Dead And Gone)