meracau ngalor ngidul

Ah damn, still awake until now, in the middle of the night. Is it because I overslept today? I woke up at 3 pm today, muahahahaha... Does hypersomnia count as weakness? But for me it's a bliss in disguise, really, I mean it. I do mean it. Nice could fall asleep for hours, very long hours and wake up and feel numb.

Setelah berbulan2 gw gak pernah buka YM dan buka imel yahoo, akhirnya selama beberapa minggu terakhir gw mulai aktip dan eksis di dunia maya. Kenapa? Gak kenapa2 sih, gak kangen atau gimana juga, just wondering what's happening out there in cyber world. Dan banyak yang pada nyapa "tumben onlen". Yang selalu gw jawab "Kagak, onlen mulu koq gua". Dan jelas2 itu tipu. Gak tau kenapa, tapi males aja gw jelasin kenapa dulu gw males onlen, dan kenapa sekarang gw onlen. It's none of their business, at all...

Ada kejadian yang gak enak minggu ini, yang bikin gw pengen teriak "uasu tenan sampeyaaaaaan", tapi ada beberapa kejadian bagus juga, seperti ketemu cowok super manis di bis patas enam yang desek2an, dibeliin sate ayam sama bapak pas gw lagi ngidam banget, dan tadi gw makan satu batang coklat cadbury dairy milk buat perbaikin mood yang sempet rusak. Ngemut2 coklat itu sambil bengong emang enak abis. Rasa manisnya tuh kyaq kalemin otak...

Gak rusak2 banget sih mood gw, cuma rusak banget! Tapi belum segitunya, I've been through the worse one, and I know I could get through this one. Screw you, suckers!

In the end, after all you've been through, you'll realize what you need is someone who give you comfort. I need my comfort zone, I need something that soothing and comforting and calming at the same time. Where is it, what is it, where is it, what is it?

It's tiring, exhausting, knowing that everything could fall to pieces, could vanish in a blink of the eyes, knowing that we can not depend on something (I know we could only depend on God, but I want something that my eyes could see, my skin could touch, my ears could listen, not just my heart could feel or my faith could believe).

*nulis postingan sambil ditemenin lagunya Raul Midon yang keep on hoping.
(bagus banget dah nih lagu, kagak pernah bosen menghantui gw dari dulu. mas Midon, mas Mraz, tolong dong kalo bikin lagu jangan kyaq gini amat, miris tau dengernya. Walaupun nada sok2 diceriain, tapi tetep lirik menyayat, syehhhh...)

Need pause button, not rewind nor fast forward nor stop. Just pause. Pause pause pause pause pause pause pause